Energy, but not a forced energy

The phrase that I'm using as the title of this post comes from what Michael says to us every day during warmup class when we're breathing. When we release our "hah"'s we should ideally be free of tension anywhere in the body, engaged with the outside world, and alive in our imaginations. We should not have the feeling of pushing or forcing anything physically or vocally. If you've been reading this blog regularly then you know that "Energy, but not a forced energy" really sums up a good deal of what this Adlerian program is about. To vastly oversimplify: Relaxation, imagination, response to stimuli, and a lack of self-absorption or overthinking.

A theme that kept coming up today was how do you work when you're not (for whatever reason) feeling like it? In Steve's class there was sort of a low-energy Monday morning feeling - the weather was overcast, although it never actually did more than drizzle. So Steve started us off on an exercise which we had performed back in the first week of classes. We "followed his impulse" around the room, which meant running,twisting, dancing, jumping, etc. as a group. He switched off having a few different people lead the class, so the style and speed of what we were doing varied. Eventually we went from this into slow-motion falls, an exercise that's extremely taxing despite it's slow pace. (Perform falling through the sky while keeping as little of the body in contact with the ground as possible.)

After we finished Steve told us to let the feeling of hard work - I literally created a puddle of my own sweat - live in our bodies and not to shrug it off or make a joke about it. As actors we may approach a performance or rehearsal with feelings of fear, nervousness, blahs, whatever; so how does one get around it to the work that's underneath? Everyone felt better after the workout, and Steve said (and I think I agree) that while some training is of course essential one of the best ways to overcome being caught up in worry or low feelings is to just work on different projects as much as possible. We were talking as a group at the end of class, and one of the ladies said that some of the group movement stuff we've done has provided some theatrical moments better than anything she'd experienced working on shows. Again, I agree. While I don't know if anyone will hire me to teach after this (and they shouldn't), I'm very excited to bring the spirit of this work into what I do in the future.

In Sam's class we worked The Proposal scene. We'd rehearsed over the weekend and felt we had the right spirit, and the scene worked but didn't quite click the way it did last week. In all honesty part of the problem was that Sam stopped us twice because he couldn't understand individual words, which meant that I had to sort of kick-start myself back up rather than just being moment-to-moment. To sum up, I asked one of my classmates what she thought and she described it as "broken," which is just about right. I actually regret not asking to do the scene again, but the post-mortem went on for quite awhile and we were beginning to infringe on other people's time a little.

A scene from Three Sisters was brought back from earlier in class, and this is where the bit about working when you don't feel like it emerged. In the discussion, it came out that at least one of the actresses didn't feel good about the scene - but to us watching the scene worked well. Sam's viewpoint was that acting is work, and that even hen we as actors may not feel the best about it that it's perfectly possible for the audience to love what they see.

Since this post is already so long, I'll make it longer. Before the workshop (and at least temporarily this blog) end, I want to express a desire for continued friendship with my classmates as we scatter around the world to our schools and homes. Also, a thanks to those who in ways large and small have made this NY experience possible:

Stanley, Janis, and Kirbie Crowe; Teri Parker, Leslie Anderson, John Fagan, Brianne Wilson, Sarah McIlvaine, Chris Evans, Catalina Keller, Daneen Schatzle, the faculty and students at Stella Adler, and (the namer of this blog) Katy Beth Cassell

Relationships

Today Joanne's movement class started with the usual hour (it felt longer) of rigorous flexibility/stamina exercises. After a break to get some water and mop the sweat, Joanne set up a table and two chairs in the middle of the room. She put two teacups on the table with saucers and spoons. The assignment: to go into the space two at a time and establish a relationship through our physical actions.

This exercise is a little hard to describe, but think of being on stage with another actor. You do or say something "in the moment" and the other actor responds based on impulse. That's essentially what we were doing, only everything (our internal lives) was physicalized. At a certain point one pair would switch off with another and (try to) pick up seamlessly. We weren't limited to the reality of our props, so many of the relationships that developed between pairs became quite emotional and even confrontational. In any play a well-trained actor will use his body to illuminate his internal life, but in Chekhov it's arguably more important and more difficult that with any other writer; that's the point of why Joanne had us do the exercise.

After everyone had been up in a pair, she had us all go into the space as a group. As we reacted to what was happening and to our impulses, new relationships began and ended. Groups formed and split apart and storylines were played out. As individuals we had to make choices about how to lead or follow and how much or if we wanted to affect the group. If someone had come into the class and not known what was going on, it would have looked like a rehearsal for a sort of avant-garde dance/theater piece.

Now, still in our physicalized mode, we shift as a group into Three Sisters, when the officers and other visitors are at the house for the first time in the play. There had been music playing all through the exercise, but now it became Russian. So that took the group in a different direction as we assumed characters and changed relationships. Dancing broke out and loves were pursued and lost. I'd like to describe my experience in the class more specifically, but as I write I find that I can only remember it in terms of what was going on with the group. I suppose that means that at least for me the point was made, and judging by what many classmates said later in the day this was a class we'll remember.

The issue of physicalizing our actions came up again on a couple of scenes that were worked in Sam's class. He "directed" some adjustments to some scenes which were already pretty good in order to open things up and give the characters reasons to be more physical. (When I say "physical" I'm talking about anything an actor does with their body) What do you know, the scenes got better. Maybe there's something to this stuff.

This post is already long enough, so I'll save my thoughts on the "muscularity of my belly" until tomorrow. (Got you thinking, don't I?) Here, just to give you an idea, is the breakdown of our class time:

Warm-Up w/ Michael - 1hr. 3 days/wk.

Scene Study w/ Sam - 3 hrs. 4 days/wk.

Voice & Speech w/ Jason/Dusty - 90 minutes 4 days/wk.

Composition w/ Steve - 2 hrs. 2 days/wk.

Movement w/ Joanne - 3 hrs. 1 day/wk.

New friends, old times

Venezuelan Girl and I are definitely doing the Proposal scene in the final presentation on the 9th. It should be different from what everyone else is doing and I think that with a bit more work could be as good as it was in class yesterday. I'd love to have another crack at the Trofimov-Anya scene, which didn't get worked enough due to my partner having to leave class for awhile due to some personal stuff. Or, I wouldn't mind squeezing in a 3rd scene - maybe the Vanya scene I had wanted to do with Glasses Girl - but I don't know if there's time.

We're at the stage in the program where people are thinking about it being over, and the cameras are coming out. I'm working my way through my second one of those film-already-inside cameras, and today I got a few shots of what the Studio looks like inside. I need to remember to get a shot of the big photo of Stella Adler and Harold Clurman hanging right inside the door.

At lunch today our Egyptian classmate (who has been making movies for 10 years in Egypt and has her own IMDB page) was telling us about the fact that in her country she is too well known to go out in public and has to stay at home with her husband and child. I asked her if she felt it was refreshing to be not only in America but to just be able to work on craft without any pressure. She said it was, and it got me thinking about how despite all I've learned in these classes how there isn't really any way to "solve" acting (even for people who've attained recognition and success), to get to the end of all that can be gained from study and from practical experience. It's a daunting thought, but also an inspiring one. I've been in kind of a unique fishbowl the past 3 1/2 weeks, and it's been helpful to be able to record my thoughts here. As all the teachers have been saying though, we've got to take what we learn in class and bring it to productions and auditions no matter where or how big. Just think, I'll always be working at this and maybe, just maybe, if I'm lucky I'll feel like I got it absolutely right once or twice. Some people might not like those odds - but what else am I going to do right?

Things I Learned Today

I am not the worst dancer in our class.

But more on that later. The highlight of the day was doing the second run-through of The Proposal scene with Venezuelan Girl. For those who don't know, The Proposal is a short Chekhov play - he called it a "vaudeville" - the bulk of which concerns a man (Lomov) and his desire to propose marriage to his neighbor's daughter Natasha. Lomov arrives at Natasha's house to propose but inadvertently begins an argument about the ownership of some land which makes things go awry and sets off Lomov's hypochondria in the bargain. Just think of wanting to tell someone something but accidentally saying something stupid and not being able to get out of it and you'll have it.

As I mentioned we rehearsed over the weekend so we felt comfortable and prepared going in. The first run through was good, although I stumbled over a speech that I hadn't had any trouble with in our run throughs. If you know anything about the shows I've done in the past and the types of characters I've often played, you'll understand when I say that it felt great to get some laughs. Sam liked the scene and especially praised Venezuelan Girl for being louder; that had been a problem in another scene she'd done.

Then things got interesting. As we prepared to do the scene again, Sam noticed that I went back to the same place onstage to start the scene. He pointed out that I actually had full use of the space and encouraged me not to be so rigid in my thinking. It happened pretty quickly, and I wish I could give you the exact exchange of words but the next thing that happened was I was doing an improv of Lomov's marriage proposal - "the moment before" the scene that Sam often talks about. That got me going because it kick started the character's (and my) natural awkwardness. So, as we began the scene proper I was "exploring the space." I drank water, pondered smoking a cigarette, etc. Natasha entered just as I was in mid sit-down, legitimately surprising me and starting the scene at the exact place I needed to be. You know where I'm going: this run fed off what Sam had put me through and was even better (although I still screwed up the same f-ing speech!). Sam was pleased with the progress both of us had made in overcoming our respective trouble spots and told me we should consider doing the scene for the last day of class presentation on the 9th of August, which she and I had already talked about doing.

Now the dancing: in our Composition class today Steve declared his desire to do "something stupid" and so spent the whole class teaching us an old fashioned dance, the kind you'd do in a WW2-set movie. Given that I've felt I haven't shown that much in the acting department and how clumsy I feel dancing most of the time, I was surprised that the steps came easier and more confidently to me than two or three of the others. But I definitely know how they feel. Half the class "led" while the other half rotated among the different leaders, so in practice that means that guys got to dance with almost every one of the girls. This had the added effect of giving me a chance to get comfortable with a couple of classmates I really hadn't talked to that much yet. And all the dancing we've been doing has played into the Adlerian goal of making me more relaxed and comfortable physically as an actor, which was definitely a spot where I needed work. I'll probably regret writing this, but I definitely don't feel shy about dancing anymore.

So all in all a fun and positive day....I knew the time here would go fast, but it's hard to believe we only have 7 class days left.

The studio...

....is open on Saturdays and Sundays for people to come in and rehearse in the various small rooms (reservation required), so Venezuelan Girl and I met both yesterday and today to work on our piece from The Proposal. Everyone works in different ways, and for me I just look to get as comfortable as I can with my lines and other onstage business so that its all second nature to me and I can just act. In a way I think I often instinctively try to do what Sam has been telling me I should for the past few weeks - let the lines and the external stuff come last - but I don't think I've always done it here. I didn't have much rehearsal time on my first scene, so the two days here feel like a luxury.

Anyway, we work well together and I'm feeling good about the scene. She's concerned with sounding credible on the more modern expressions that she doesn't know. This translation has Natasha saying things like "Well I Never," which are new to her; I'm giving her coaching on how to sound appropriate (she's actually doing fine). We're going to do the scene in class on Monday, so cross your fingers....

Maybe it was the elevator

Anyone who's an actor aspires to be as "free" in their work as possible at any given moment. That is to say, to play one's actions as purely as possible without being hindered by any mental or physical encumbrance. We all have our "good" and "bad" days, but I'd say any thoughtful actor would tell you that a feeling of pure freedom might be (at best) a once-in-a-lifetime event.

Today in Joanne's movement class we had a moment that really crystallized what the Adler program is all about (in my humble blah blah...). I've written before about my apprehensions about this class, my awareness of my own shortcomings in the areas of flexibility and physical fluidity. Well today the class just clicked, not just for me but the whole group. Focus was strong, the mood was positive and there was just a great relaxed feeling in the class. Joanne asked us to sit back to back with our scene partners and, while "feeling our text," enact our scene through abstract movement. This turned into a dance (picture a man who has wandered onto the stage of a very good modern dance company and you'll know what I felt like dancing with Venezuelan Girl), and eventually into a dance that each couple performed before the group.

I think our piece got the essence of The Proposal (a steadily escalating comic confrontation) even if it may not have been the prettiest, but everyone in the class really committed to what they were doing and the results were great. Because of an odd number in the class there was even a three-way dance which combined two scenes. THEN Joanne raised the stakes by repeating the exercise except substituting song for dance. So, that's what we did; everyone performed a (thankfully short) version of their scene in song, sometimes saying the words and sometimes paraphrasing. Again here, the group was very into the spirit of the work.

I describe this exercise in such detail because of the challenge Joanne threw to us at the end. We should make all our scenes, monologues, whatever as free as the dance and singing we had just done. We should integrate the physical into our work and stay out of our heads. It should always feel this good. And of course, that's a lofty goal but 100% right. It's usually difficult to have time to do a dance before an audition or rehearsal, but in a way we should - metaphorically if not literally.

Notes from Sam's class: Venezuelan Girl and I did the first rough run-through of our scene from The Proposal today, and Sam had us do it shouting in order to "loosen us up" and get us in the spirit of the the thing. I think I said yesterday that this scene has possibilities to me, we're working on it this weekend.

The Bravery Award for the day is shared by Class Secretary and Glasses Girl. Class Secretary was missing a scene partner so Sam had her do an in-character improv (Yelena from Vanya) imagining "the moment before" her scene with Vanya. She wasn't expecting it when she came to class today but pulled it off with authority. Glasses Girl is doing a gender switch version of the Anya-Trofimov scene I tried earlier with one of the guys in class. Today was the first work-through and I'm interested to see where it goes.

(Explanation for post title: As I was walking down W. 27th towards the studio this morning, I met Joanne and a couple of classmates coming the other way. The stairs were closed due to construction in the building - the elevators are off limits to Adler students - and so we had to go down the block to a freight elevator that took us to a different entrance to the studio. I'm not superstitious but the change in routine set a good tone for the day.)

"Stuck in Words"

Week 3 begins....More rain but this time I have an umbrella so the damage is limited, my jeans are actually dry by the time it's time to go home. The big event of the day is the second run through of the Trofimov-Anya scene. I honestly feel there was an improvement from the other day, as I reigned in my instincts to play to the audience and tried to make a connection with my scene partner. But apparently I didn't make that connection strongly enough, because Sam felt that I was still too much about lines and not enough about action. He worked with us for a good while, and even gave us a ball to play catch with as we played the scene - to emphasize the idea of connection. The important thing is to take what Sam gives us and build the scene with it, and I think we can do that. Sam actually said he wanted to see the scene again before the end of the workshop, so we will have another chance to get it right.

I'd love to do a scene or a monologue in class that wows everybody, but if I don't I want to get as much as I can out of the mistakes so that whatever I do in acting in the future will be stronger. When we were talking in class today, Sam asked me if the technique of playing actions he talks about was new to me (it isn't) and if I understood the philosophy he was trying to get across (I do). He seemed to want to get some emotional reaction out of me (not just my character) and the one thing I wish I'd asked him (and I still might) is what good that would have done. I could have yelled or thrown a chair, but our time together is limited and that really would have accomplished very little and been pretty out of character for me besides. Yes, I need to discern the difference between an "idea and a feeling" (Sam's words) as an actor, but me getting mad at him would just have been self-indulgence.

The most enjoyable part of the day was doing a group dance to a song in Steve's Composition class. I think Steve said the song was Algerian; it went on for about six minutes and we were all just following our impulses and having a good time. If you're reading this and you know me you know I'm not a dancer, but in that class and among the group I'm totally comfortable dancing or doing any of the other exercises. You'd think I'd be more comfortable doing a scene since that's where my experience lies, but no.

Note to self: buy umbrella

The day started badly as I arrived at the Studio amid a drenching rainstorm. The cheap T-shirt I was wearing was so wet I just threw it in the garbage since I had some others with me, and at lunch I ran out and bought some more shirts, an extra pair of jeans, and an umbrella.

First class of the day: Movement Techniques with Joanne Edelmann. Strangely this is the class I feel the most trepidation about; what does it say that I'm more self-conscious about my lack of flexibility than my acting? We start with an intensive movement session that while it may not be yoga seems yoga-like to my inexperienced muscles. There's a kind of a free-form movement exercise that incorporates some of our Chekhov lines and includes a solo spot for everyone. Since I'm playing Trofimov in my scene that's the character I have in mind, but of course how does one portray such an intellectual character through movement? (Irish Guy follows me with the same character and does it brilliantly...)

The second part of the class is an exercise in the Alexander Technique and Ideokinesis. We partner up and take turns going through the exercises Joanne leads, which involves pulling stretching, and massaging various points to reduce tension. I'm partnered with a young woman from Nigeria who has some experience with the exercise, so there's not any awkwardness or messing up. When it's my turn to work on her I probably err on the side of being tentative, since when you're pulling someone's head up from their body you become very aware of your own strength. Joanne is our most "serious" teacher in terms of demeanor, and rides the ladies in the class about their hair falling into their eyes.

In our Voice & Speech class with Jason we read and discuss a poem by e.e. cummings, (see below) as a way of beginning to think about language and what actors can do with it. It's a change from lying on the floor breathing; not that that isn't valuable but I think everyone was happy to have a piece of text to work with. Jason told us in our first class that he studied literature, and he definitely seems to be interested in more than the technical side of acting.

My second crack at the Trofimov-Anya scene tomorrow...I feel ready....

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

- e e cummings

"Community Theater"

So today was the first day of week 2...we've added yet another new student and the international side of the class is well represented. Our newbie is from the Netherlands and told us that she works on a soap opera there, so we'll call her Soap Girl.

The big to-do for me today was doing the scene in Sam's class with the Tall One. This was, in Sam's words, a "rehearsal." We still had scripts in hands and were doing a good deal of stop-and-go stuff. The scene in The Cherry Orchard we're doing is between the "perpetual student" Trofimov and the young Anya, who is infatuated with Trofimov's high political talk. My initial impulse was to give the scene a bit of awkwardness...Trofimov does believe what he's saying but is also attracted to Anya. Sam stopped us though, he felt Trofimov should be caught up in his political ideas and not really aware of Anya as a woman.

So that's a different interpretation, but I can make the adjustment. As we worked on the scene, Sam kept reminding both of us not to give a performance but to just talk. The scene was better that way....but at one point during Trofimov's impassioned monologue I (on an impulse) crossed away from her downstage. Sam interrupted at that point and said that he didn't mean for what he was about to say to sound cruel, but he thought that move was a little "community theater." I laughed out loud from surprise at his bluntness, and I guess that defused the moment a bit because everyone else laughed too.

I knew what he meant and I didn't mind. I had told Sam a little about my background, so he knew where he was coming from with the comment. This is a class in realistic acting, and I know have a tendency to go into a mode that could be called "stagey." It's a habit I've fallen into over the years, and I'm aware of it. But I need to get over that and stay with playing actions and looking for the truth of the scene, especially while I've got the chance to be in an exploratory situation like this. Whether this trait is "community theater" or not I don't know, but what Sam was talking about was a sort of an awareness of the audience that isn't necessary and not even really appropriate for this material.

After class one of the young women I haven't mentioned yet (we'll call her Big Voice because she can hold her "hah"'s longer than anybody) gave me a complement, so I'd like to think that the changes we made as we worked registered and that the scene is going somewhere. As I've said, I do feel like there is a good ensemble feeling in the group since we are after all in this together. It's too bad there isn't time for us to all do a show together, but the camaraderie we're developing in the "Composition" class will influence the scenes for the better. I've got memorization to do.....

The first week

Sorry about no post yesterday, but I needed some time to digest the first week of classes. The upshot of it all is that I think I have some tools to be a more confident, more self-aware actor after just a few days with these teachers and this group. I don't think I've ever quite been in such an intensive situation where voice, body, and mind were put together before, and I think it's going to help me going forward. The trick is of course to take what I learn here and apply it back home or wherever I may find myself acting in the future. Even though I think I've made strides in the past few years to being a less "heady" actor, I can see now how much I've got to get out of my head and into my imagination, be it through "Adlerian" imagination techniques or substitutions.

In our Voice class yesterday we were working on getting out and controlling our "hah" sounds, with the idea of urgently trying to reach our imaginary partners on the ceiling. Our teacher Dusty McKeelan was talking about how the urgency we put forth in this exercise this might relate to say, doing an audition piece. He said, "Do it for the other person." That is, your real or imaginary scene partner. What a simple way to say it, and yet how true. That is to say, my acting usually gets pretty fussy and mannered when I'm doing a monologue. But of course what's important is the simple actions underneath. I'm only being a little over the top when I say that was an epiphany for me.

I haven't written much about the "Composition" class yet, but I'm enjoying it. Yesterday there was quite a physical part that left me dripping sweat on the floor. It began with an imitative, running-around-the-room part but then went into kind of a slow-motion performance of a fall - also very tiring since we weren't allowed to lie on the floor, but had to stay active even in slow motion. I've wondered if a better name for the class might be "Connection," since that's what a lot of it seems to be about. Like on Monday, a lot of the class was spent in a circle throwing a ball or balls around and saying each others names. The idea is that the names are the text and the connections we make in throwing parallel the connections we'd make onstage. Try it as a prerehearsal exercise or in a class where people don't know each other. We did the same exercise with an Arabic greeting taught to us by our new student ("Language Girl"), who joined the class Thursday. The word, which I don't think I can reproduce here, was a bit hard to say. It was interesting how that changed the exercise into being about getting it right rather than letting it happen.

What a great week, but I'm glad not to go back until Monday.....so much to chew on.

Blow it out your...

Try lying on the floor and letting your belly be empty of air. We'll call this your "natural empty." Get rid of all your tension and stay engaged with the outside world - visualizing something on the ceiling helps. Now let the air flow into you, think of it traveling down your spine and into your extremities. If it helps, put one hand on your upper chest and one just below your waistline; this will tell you where the air is going. (You shouldn't feel it in your upper chest or shoulders)

Think of the sound "hah" living somewhere in your toes. Let it rise up and come out of you as a vocalization. The minute that "hah" loses intensity, volume, energy, whatever - stop. Don't let it fade out and DON'T let your breath run out and gasp for that last bit of air.

This what we worked on in "Voice, Speech, and Text" today, and I learned that while I'm blessed with a good deal of air to work with if I learn to control where the air comes and goes there's even more. (Good to know) Also, my tongue gets in the way of my throat being open. That's another way sound gets limited and I've got to work on keeping my tongue lower in my mouth - hard to do.....

I just heard...

...from Mr. Earnest, the director I mentioned in the last post. He responded to my email and it looks good for setting up an audition for the Warehouse production of "The Seagull" while I'm in NYC. Now to get a good pic of myself.....

On the way

Mailed the final check to Stella Adler yesterday, so it's official: I'll be in NYC for 5 weeks during July and August for a "Chekhov intensive" at the Stella Adler studio. I'm excited, and have a lot of questions about my experience relative to everyone else in the class and where the training might leave me. Watch this space for more....

First of all....

...according to this, "homegirl" means a "female friend or acquaintance from one's neighborhood or hometown." That's not exactly the case with me and Stella Adler (1901-1992), the legendary acting teacher and Group Theater member. I'm in a production of King Lear right now and I'd mentioned something about going to NYC for a summer Chekhov intensive in my bio. A young woman in the cast asked me if I was really going to study at the Stella Adler studio. I said I was, and she said "Stella Adler is my homegirl." ....and so a blog was born.....